Presenting – Steven and Paul from the Accommodating the Soul B& B – Spirituality and Personal Touch

Sometimes the most interesting encounters happen spontaneously. I had just picked up the Beach Metro Community News and noticed an advertisement for a bed and breakfast in Toronto’s Beach that had a rather unusual name: Accommodating The Soul Bed and Breakfast. For my neighbourhood portrait of the Beach I had wanted to interview a tourism entrepreneur anyway, so I decided to call the number listed.

I talked with one of the owners and got a positive reception. Steven and I arranged that I would drop by Saturday afternoon for a quick interview. So on a snowy day I drove down Waverley Road and stopped just north of Queen Street: I had found my destination. Steven Zarlenga, one of the co-owners, opened the door to Accommodating The Soul B&B and welcomed me. He offered me a pair of slippers, a comfortable accessory on this cold and clammy day. The co-owner Paul Karamat had also been waiting for me and said hello. After offering me a glass of orange juice, Steven took me on a tour of the house.

The historic home has a beautifully decorated living room on the east side, with an adjoining dining room that features a colourful oversize floral painting which Steven and Paul brought back from a trip to Thailand. Upstairs are three tastefully decorated bedrooms, with one gorgeous private bathroom and one shared bathroom. Steven did all the interior decorating, and the entire house has a tranquil elegance to it. Straight down from the entrance is the kitchen, a room they plan to renovate in the near future. Doors from the kitchen and the dining room lead down a few steps to a new addition: a beautiful west-facing garden room with three sets of French doors provides a perfect spot to relax. In the summer you can gaze out over the green sanctuary behind the house. Their backyard is part of the Beaches Garden Tour.

Their garden has even been used as a backdrop for weddings and other special events. The generous garden room with its series of French doors reminded me a bit of a European palais, where doors open up to a beautifully designed oasis of colour and fragrance. Steven commented that the garden is a quiet respite and many B&B guests have remarked how peaceful the garden is. During the Jazz Festival Steven and Paul often sit in the backyard with their guests, enjoying a glass of wine and listening to the music that drifts up from Queen Street.

Steven and Paul used to live in Richmond Hill, and had been playing with the idea of opening a bed and breakfast for some time, but they always thought that this would be something to do later on in life. At a critical juncture in life they decided to go ahead with their plans anyway and started searching for a suitable property. They looked in different parts of Toronto and were shown various properties all over the city. When they looked around the Beach, they liked the small town feel of this neighbourhood and the restaurant and shopping opportunities close by. Paul commented that when their real estate agent drove them down Waverley Road, they somehow felt guided to this property and bought it right away after the viewing. They became good friends with the former owner who allowed them to put plants in the garden before they even owned the house and fixed up all the holes in the wall before Steven and Paul took over the property.

The name for this B&B came to Paul in a divinely inspired moment. Paul describes himself as spiritual, he prays regularly and asked for a name for their new bed and breakfast. Paul smiles and says the next day the name came to him spontaneously: Accommodating The Soul. He adds he wanted to create a home for people to come and just be.

Over the last three years Steven and Paul have had guests from all over the world, including from different parts of North America, Europe and Asia. Steven likes to spoil them with his full hot breakfast which includes a fresh fruit cocktail, coffee, tea, juice, and a main course, either an egg dish (Paul adds that Steven’s omelettes are to die for), a quiche or a dish made with filo pastry. Steven told me about his pancakes: he takes thin slices of ripe pear and puts them in the dough while the pancake cooks. The fruit remains visible on one side of the pancake and the top gets sprinkled with icing sugar. My mouth was watering just listening to this description.

I asked them to tell me a few of their favourite guest stories that they have accumulated over the last three years. They both commented that their guests come from all walks of life, some are wealthy, some are regular, hard-working people, but they treat everyone the same way, and 99% of their guest experiences have been positive.

Many of their guests say that they sleep so much better here than in their own home. Just recently some guests from the West Coast brought a bottle of malt as a present, and other guests brought some cheese. Often their guests are interesting personalities or they come for interesting reasons. One of their guests was doing research into the death of his uncle who was killed on duty as an RCMP officer. Another couple from Korea came with their Korean brother-in-law. As an interior designer, Steven got involved in an animated discussion about architecture with the brother-in-law. Later that day the couple commented that their traveling companion had not talked with anyone for five days, and Steven was the first person that he opened up to.

A young woman from Japan who spoke no English stayed for several days at their B&B, and they went on some joint excursions to Niagara-on-the-Lake together. The only way they could communicate was through improvised sign language, and the three established a great connection and had lots of laughs together. Positive human connections are possible even without the aid of a common spoken language.

Steven and Paul’s favourite guest story involves a woman from Halifax who came to stay at their B&B. Mary, a good-looking tall woman in her fifties, with blond hair, was a bit reserved, yet she also came across as relaxed and spiritual. The two owners knew that they were going to connect with this B&B guest. Mary finally opened up and told them her story: she had had a very close friend, Anna, whom she had grown up with. They would often have tea and cookies together, and one day, during one of their get-togethers, Anna got up, and fell back down – she had suffered a massive heart attack and passed away the same day.

When Mary was taking the train to Toronto on her way to visit Steven and Paul’s B&B, Mary said to herself “Anna, if you are out there, give me a sign. ” Mary closed her eyes and when she opened them again she saw a big A in the sky. As Paul was telling this story, something had just given me a chill. Steven and Paul added that they became good friends with Mary and they cried when she left. They felt they had met a soul sister. Needless to say, Mary has been back several times since her first visit.

I inquired into their personal backgrounds and Steven started to explain that he was born in Toronto into an Italian-Canadian family. He graduated from a program in marketing and started to work for American Standard. He moved into the field of human resources and started to work with disabled people for whom he organized job fairs and work placements.

One day he literally had a light bulb moment, he realized that he needed a change in his life, and at the time he considered that he might open a home accessories store. Steven had always had a real talent for interior design, and since he was a child, his relatives would ask him for decorating advice. He figured he might as well try to make a living at something that he is really good at. He got as far as attending some trade shows and gathering some samples for the intended home accessories store, but in the end, Steven and Paul decided to harness Steven’s decorating talents by putting them to good use in their own bed and breakfast which they were planning to open.

Steven is also a talented stained glass artists, and some pieces of Steven’s art adorn their home. Steven has also sold several pieces of stained glass to some of his bed and breakfast guests while several other visitors have requested his help with their interior design projects.

Paul was born in Guyana and was twelve years old when he came to Toronto. He said his initial adjustment period was a bit difficult since he was used to growing up in a large family who had been living closely together. Once he arrived in Toronto, his entire family was spread out all over the city. In his twenties Paul completed his education in nursing and worked as a “traveling nurse” in various parts of the USA for three years. He was hired by different nursing agencies and worked in various cities throughout Florida and California.

Paul is also a registered physiotherapist and describes himself as an aspiring spiritual counselor, writer and public speaker. He also provides mindfulness awareness meditation workshops.

One experience that shaped Paul Kamarat was a walk along the ancient pilgrimage route of the Camino de Santiago. We briefly talked about my friend Sue Kenney who has become a recognized authority on the Camino. Paul recounts a story of when he was traveling by train from France towards the border of Spain where he would be starting his pilgrimage. He had met a local woman on the train who told him that they were very close to the famous French pilgrimage town of Lourdes. Paul decided to get off the train and spent a night in this historic town, a magical experience.

Once he had started his pilgrimage near the Spanish town of Roncesvalles, he asked God to give him a sign whether he was on the right path. Just at that moment he saw a pair of dancing butterflies, which had always been a positive symbol for Paul. He knew he was on the right track.

Paul adds that as a budding writer he has a strong interest in regular people. He said that he meets so many interesting people and there are so many special individuals out there who are making a positive contribution to the planet.

Steven also pulled out his album and showed me a few pictures of the B&B’s renovation project. Other images featured some of the special events held here and some of his stained glass work. We also went through their guest book which features so many positive comments about the guest experience at Accommodating The Soul B&B. Ever the gracious hosts, Paul and Steven had brought me cookies and a delicious plate of cheese and crackers to keep me energized during the interview. Their natural knack for hospitality is genuine and welcoming.

Just before I had to leave, Paul showed me his pilgrimage passport and the scallop shell that is the symbol of the Camino de Santiago. Steven also had a special item to show me, particularly since Paul was instigating: Steven’s artistic talent manifested itself early in the form of a blue paper-maché pig, an art project that was displayed in his high school along with a variety of other exhibits and science experiments. We all chuckled at this unusual long-lashed yet strangely endearing piece of art.

Two other interviewees were waiting for me, but meeting these two hospitality entrepreneurs was a real treat. I have interviewed many bed and breakfast owners over the years, but I don’t think I have ever met B& B hosts who enjoy the guest experience and the human connection as much as Steven Zarlenga and Paul Karamat. Both gentlemen invited me to come back and I didn’t leave before I got a big hug from both of them. Truly a bed and breakfast with a personal touch…

Presentation Preparation for the Unexpected — Murphy’s Law Catches Up With All of Us

No matter how much preparation we’ve put into our presentation, no matter how carefully we’ve paid attention to the details, and no matter how confidently we walk onto the stage or podium, Murphy’s Law will catch up with us and create an unexpected event or experience when we are presenting. How should we handle this without letting it turn into a disaster?

Don’t ignore the unexpected! While attending a large national convention, I was listening to a delightful luncheon speaker who was positioned in the middle of the room on a low podium. A waiter with a large tray loaded with dirty dishes walked right up onto the podium, crossed in front of the speaker and down the other side. The speaker acted like nothing had happened and just kept on presenting. For several minutes, not one of us heard or paid attention to her words. It was a daunting experience for her, but she would have become more memorable if she had stopped and made some sort of comment — the more humorous, the better.

Practice for the unexpected! Realizing that it will someday happen to us, we must think of all of the unexpected crises that might occur and then practice how we will respond. My theory is that the more prepared we are, the fewer crises will happen. A well-known speaker had all of the power fail during his presentation to a huge group. This is a man who uses many overheads and, of course, a microphone. He asked if anyone had a flashlight or candle, and then proceeded to ask everyone to join him in a familiar song. Soon the power was restored and everyone in the audience loved him more than before.

Do everything you can to avoid the unexpected! As in the previous scenarios, the speaker had no control over the unexpected, but there are steps we can take in advance to cut down our chances of having to deal with it. A professional speaker told me once, “Never assume, always confirm.” This goes for the equipment to make sure you have what you need and is working, for the handouts if someone is making copies for you, for the address and time of your presentation with complete directions of how to get there, and everything else you need to make your presentation smooth and carefree.

Be ready to cope with unexpected travel problems! If you travel by air or rail as a speaker, you will definitely have to face missed or cancelled flights, layovers, and impossible connections. I suggest making every effort to give yourself an extra day for travel. The meeting planner will love you, as will your audience. I know speakers whose flights have been cancelled and to make sure they get to their speaking engagement, they rent a car and drive through the night. That’s the sign of a true professional.

Remember, always be a professional. Be prepared — especially for the unexpected!

The Past And Present Of Perfumery

The word perfume refers to a pleasant scent produced from a concoction of aromatic compounds, scented essential oils, solvents and fixatives. The term has been derived from “per fumus” which is a Latin word meaning ‘through smoke’. The art of perfume making or perfumery initiated in ancient Egypt; but the Arabs and the Romans were the ones who upgraded and refined the concept further. Perfumes were also used in Asia but were based on incense sources.

Many Egyptian inscriptions and clay tablets depict the process of preparing perfumes. But the world’s first perfume maker was Tapputi of Mesopotamia. There were accounts of this chemist on the 2nd millennium BC Cuneiform tablet. One of the oldest perfume making processes was discovered in Cyprus. Italian archaeological teams had excavated a massive factory that existed during the Bronze Age which is about 4000 years ago. Perfumery also existed in India and the main sources of fragrance were Attar, sandalwood oil and agarwood oil. In the west, European countries Hungary, France and England were the first to attempt composing scents.

Plants and herbs that were possibly used in early perfume making include Angelica, Scented Agrimony, Apple, Birch, Avens, Black Current, Calamint, Camomile, Fern, Mint,Fennel, Cyperus, Elder Flower, Feverfew, coriander, almond, Melilot Hawthorn, Clover, Broom, Hyssop, Lily of the valley, Conifer resin, Lavender, Bergamot, Rosemary, Sage, Oak Moss, Lemon Balm, Milfoil, Orris, Rose, Tansy, Violet, Rue and Jojoba. Modern perfumery began during the end of 17th century.

The longevity and intensity of a perfume depend upon the durability and concentration of the solvents and the aromatic compounds. Though different perfumeries have different compositions, the scent becomes stronger with the increasing percentage of these compounds. For example the oil concentration in Eau de Parfum (EdP) is generally higher than in Eau de Toilette (EdT). Today’s commercial fragrances are a blend of various chemicals and essential oils. Identifying the components accurately is quite difficult. It’s only a perfume connoisseur who can sniff the ingredients present in a particular scent. The price of a fragrance basically depends on the following natural as well as chemical characteristics-

Variance
Components
Uniqueness of the scent
Complexity of the scent
There are no specific procedures for creating fragrances. The ingredients that are presently used can be roughly categorized as: primary scents, modifiers, blenders and fixatives. Tinctures, essential oils and absolutes are the major constituents of the current commercial perfumes.