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Warning, a negotiation tsunami is occurring throughout the world. As such, a lot of corporations and individuals are allowing their negotiation sky to fall. A negotiation tsunami has been surging for quite some time. It began in the form of savvy individuals and cutting edge corporations increasing their knowledge of negotiation. Those entities have become poised to out-negotiate those who are complacent with their current negotiation skills.

In the worldwide recession, that has gripped corporations and individuals, everyone is dealing with the premise of doing more with less. As such, those entities that increase their capacity to negotiate more stringently are and will continue to outdistance those that allow their negotiation skills to remain stagnant. In many situations, organizations while cutting overhead and negotiation training to the bone are not aware of the severe damage they’re doing to their bottom line.

The problem initiated in most organizations when management felt it could get by with the negotiation skill sets that existed within the corporation. As time progressed, management considered the enhancement of the organization’s negotiation skills as a nice to have. Individuals felt a need to stretch their resources, but declined to consider the valuable role that negotiation plays to assist them in achieving their goals. In most organizations, management has failed to realize the overall value that can be gained by enhancing the core negotiation skills of its human resource, and the value that such activity has on the company’s bottom line.

As a key component in your organization and in your personal life, where do you stand when it comes to enhancing your negotiation skills?

I wrote an article recently in which the question was posed, do the Chinese negotiate differently and/or better than people in other countries? Respondents from several LinkedIn Chinese groups that have conducted business in China indicated that the Chinese take negotiation seriously and commit to learning the art of negotiation from a very young age; it’s a skill they continue to enhance throughout their lives. The Chinese are not the only people that commit to such strenuous efforts to improve their corporate and private plight.

Where does this leave you and your organization? If you personally become proactive about developing your negotiation skills, you will avoid becoming antiquated and you’ll be able to ascend to higher positions within the corporation. You have time to become a better negotiator, but you need to access the time you have and start increasing your negotiation skills, now! To slack in this endeavor will be akin to recklessly flirting with negativity, as it relates to your future opportunities. I’m sure that’s not a position in which you wish to find yourself.

Those individuals and corporations that seek to succeed in the future will heed this information. If you’re of like-mindedness, you’ll commit to securing your future, that of your corporation, and your life style balance.

Become a better negotiator! Increase your negotiation skills right now! Do so by increasing your knowledge as to when and how to use the appropriate negotiation strategy and tactic. In so doing, you’ll be better positioned to take advantage of future opportunities that will be presented to you… and everything will be right with the world. Remember, you’re always negotiating.

“The best way to predict the future is to create it.” – Peter Drucker

The Negotiation Tips Are…

In creating your future, gather what you need today to build the environment in which you’ll live tomorrow. Increase your chances of achieving that future by knowing how to negotiate better in life’s situations.

Preparation is a key ingredient in every negotiation. The better you prepare, by knowing how to use the appropriate strategy in the proper situation, the better you’ll become at negotiating.

If you negotiated like your life depended upon the outcome, you’d take the time to learn to negotiate better. Guess what, your life does depend on it!

Is it spiritually OK to think about your past and your future?

When teachers tell you to bring your attention to the present moment, they are sharing a useful technique that focuses the power of your body, mind, and soul. The present moment is where you truly live, and this present moment is that place of power where you can unite all the aspects of your being. So learning to be fully present is definitely a most important and useful skill.

However, this method of bringing your focus to the present moment is sometimes misunderstood, even by spiritual teachers, as a strict rule to never think about your past experiences, or to never dream of your future possibilities. That fear is shortsighted and mistaken. You can learn about your present life situations by examining patterns from your past mistakes. You can then utilize your awareness to take appropriate steps to change these patterns that are affecting you.

Of course, it is possible to be too preoccupied with the past. Take the case of those who harshly judge themselves on the basis of their past mistakes. Or those who live in misery because of regrets and self pity. And there are those who, through too much past-focused therapy, blame their childhood as an excuse for everything in their life.

It is possible to be too preoccupied with the future as well, as in the case of those who are creative dreamers who never take action. And then there are those who, out of fear of a possible negative outcome, fail to take appropriate action in their present circumstances.

It is these extremes in behavior — people stuck in their past, or lost in their future — that may explain the strong emphasis that some teachers have about bringing their students exclusively into present time — while avoiding all thoughts of past and the future.

You can easily imagine ancient teachers warning their meditation students to stay in present time, and avoiding any daydreaming about the past or the present. Over the generations, that reasonable suggestion turned into a generalized fear about the past and the future, without an understanding of the deeper meaning of the practice. It often happens that spiritual teachers are repeating what they have been told, and they have not examined the situation with their deeper intuition.

Let’s assume, however, that you are a reasonably balanced person. You are not expressing these extreme behaviors, and you are not lost in the past or the future. What is the value of utilizing your past and future awareness? Here is an example:

When you let yourself scan your future timeline, you can more easily make assessments about any limitations that you sense in your future. You can bring your insights from the future into your present life. And this helps you access ways of manifesting a more positive future for yourself and others.

So there are valid reasons for you to cultivate present time consciousness, combined with past awareness and future awareness. And you can choose to do this in a balanced way.

But before you explore your past or your future, you might want to examine any irrational beliefs you have been given about the concept of time. You may have been told that past and future are somehow unreal, and therefore unworthy of your attention. Or you may have been told that past and future are irrelevant to your life, since “only the present moment is real.”

When spiritual teachers condemn the past or the future on the basis that it isn’t real, what do they mean, exactly? Does something have to be physical for it to be considered as real?

Well, ideas are not physical — but ideas can be quite useful. Perhaps some teachers mean that the past and future are not as solid as this present moment. That is true. But, does that mean that anything that you learn from the past and future therefore has no value?

I believe that your imagination is the key to accessing your spiritual potential. And your imagination, when centered in the Now moment, can help you learn from your past and your future experiences.

Your amazing multidimensional imagination extends through all time, and all space.

But how can you be centered in the Now, and also aware of past and future?

Does it have to be one or the other?

The key to safely examining your past influences, and your future possibilities, is to be grounded in the present moment when you are meditating on your past and your future.

This is the unified skill that frees you to make the best use of the present moment, combined with your awareness of the past and the future. Let those who claim that the past and the future are unreal believe as they do. You deserve to explore and benefit from the full range of your timeline.

When you recall your past, you are accessing another aspect of yourself, and you are learning from the fascinating world of that past time. You can tune into those past images and feelings and learn from them, if you let yourself.

The same is true for the future. Yes, the future is not as solid as the present. But, the future is a possibility that you can study. What can you learn from it? As you develop your subtle sensing ability, you find that you can learn from images in your mind. And that includes images of the future. You can sense into them, and learn.

The future can give you vital new ideas that you may choose to manifest in the present. And the future can give you understandings about a possible outcome of a situation, so that you can be aware of potential challenges.

Maybe you consider this awareness as all in your imagination — and perhaps it is — but that doesn’t make it invalid as a useful spiritual practice. Or, maybe you want to call it future scanning, or past recall. Could it be that your vast consciousness includes past, present, and future? Why limit yourself?

In your daily practice, let yourself sense your own past, present, and future as a continuum that you have access to — through your conscious awareness that is grounded in present time.

The power of your imagination connects you with these deeper truths. May each eternal moment of your life bring you meaningful and fulfilling discoveries — breath by breath — and moment by moment.

Many Blessings,

Joel Bruce Wallach

Founder, Cosmic Living spiritual instruction – tele-classes and home-study mp3′s

Sometimes the most interesting encounters happen spontaneously. I had just picked up the Beach Metro Community News and noticed an advertisement for a bed and breakfast in Toronto’s Beach that had a rather unusual name: Accommodating The Soul Bed and Breakfast. For my neighbourhood portrait of the Beach I had wanted to interview a tourism entrepreneur anyway, so I decided to call the number listed.

I talked with one of the owners and got a positive reception. Steven and I arranged that I would drop by Saturday afternoon for a quick interview. So on a snowy day I drove down Waverley Road and stopped just north of Queen Street: I had found my destination. Steven Zarlenga, one of the co-owners, opened the door to Accommodating The Soul B&B and welcomed me. He offered me a pair of slippers, a comfortable accessory on this cold and clammy day. The co-owner Paul Karamat had also been waiting for me and said hello. After offering me a glass of orange juice, Steven took me on a tour of the house.

The historic home has a beautifully decorated living room on the east side, with an adjoining dining room that features a colourful oversize floral painting which Steven and Paul brought back from a trip to Thailand. Upstairs are three tastefully decorated bedrooms, with one gorgeous private bathroom and one shared bathroom. Steven did all the interior decorating, and the entire house has a tranquil elegance to it. Straight down from the entrance is the kitchen, a room they plan to renovate in the near future. Doors from the kitchen and the dining room lead down a few steps to a new addition: a beautiful west-facing garden room with three sets of French doors provides a perfect spot to relax. In the summer you can gaze out over the green sanctuary behind the house. Their backyard is part of the Beaches Garden Tour.

Their garden has even been used as a backdrop for weddings and other special events. The generous garden room with its series of French doors reminded me a bit of a European palais, where doors open up to a beautifully designed oasis of colour and fragrance. Steven commented that the garden is a quiet respite and many B&B guests have remarked how peaceful the garden is. During the Jazz Festival Steven and Paul often sit in the backyard with their guests, enjoying a glass of wine and listening to the music that drifts up from Queen Street.

Steven and Paul used to live in Richmond Hill, and had been playing with the idea of opening a bed and breakfast for some time, but they always thought that this would be something to do later on in life. At a critical juncture in life they decided to go ahead with their plans anyway and started searching for a suitable property. They looked in different parts of Toronto and were shown various properties all over the city. When they looked around the Beach, they liked the small town feel of this neighbourhood and the restaurant and shopping opportunities close by. Paul commented that when their real estate agent drove them down Waverley Road, they somehow felt guided to this property and bought it right away after the viewing. They became good friends with the former owner who allowed them to put plants in the garden before they even owned the house and fixed up all the holes in the wall before Steven and Paul took over the property.

The name for this B&B came to Paul in a divinely inspired moment. Paul describes himself as spiritual, he prays regularly and asked for a name for their new bed and breakfast. Paul smiles and says the next day the name came to him spontaneously: Accommodating The Soul. He adds he wanted to create a home for people to come and just be.

Over the last three years Steven and Paul have had guests from all over the world, including from different parts of North America, Europe and Asia. Steven likes to spoil them with his full hot breakfast which includes a fresh fruit cocktail, coffee, tea, juice, and a main course, either an egg dish (Paul adds that Steven’s omelettes are to die for), a quiche or a dish made with filo pastry. Steven told me about his pancakes: he takes thin slices of ripe pear and puts them in the dough while the pancake cooks. The fruit remains visible on one side of the pancake and the top gets sprinkled with icing sugar. My mouth was watering just listening to this description.

I asked them to tell me a few of their favourite guest stories that they have accumulated over the last three years. They both commented that their guests come from all walks of life, some are wealthy, some are regular, hard-working people, but they treat everyone the same way, and 99% of their guest experiences have been positive.

Many of their guests say that they sleep so much better here than in their own home. Just recently some guests from the West Coast brought a bottle of malt as a present, and other guests brought some cheese. Often their guests are interesting personalities or they come for interesting reasons. One of their guests was doing research into the death of his uncle who was killed on duty as an RCMP officer. Another couple from Korea came with their Korean brother-in-law. As an interior designer, Steven got involved in an animated discussion about architecture with the brother-in-law. Later that day the couple commented that their traveling companion had not talked with anyone for five days, and Steven was the first person that he opened up to.

A young woman from Japan who spoke no English stayed for several days at their B&B, and they went on some joint excursions to Niagara-on-the-Lake together. The only way they could communicate was through improvised sign language, and the three established a great connection and had lots of laughs together. Positive human connections are possible even without the aid of a common spoken language.

Steven and Paul’s favourite guest story involves a woman from Halifax who came to stay at their B&B. Mary, a good-looking tall woman in her fifties, with blond hair, was a bit reserved, yet she also came across as relaxed and spiritual. The two owners knew that they were going to connect with this B&B guest. Mary finally opened up and told them her story: she had had a very close friend, Anna, whom she had grown up with. They would often have tea and cookies together, and one day, during one of their get-togethers, Anna got up, and fell back down – she had suffered a massive heart attack and passed away the same day.

When Mary was taking the train to Toronto on her way to visit Steven and Paul’s B&B, Mary said to herself “Anna, if you are out there, give me a sign. ” Mary closed her eyes and when she opened them again she saw a big A in the sky. As Paul was telling this story, something had just given me a chill. Steven and Paul added that they became good friends with Mary and they cried when she left. They felt they had met a soul sister. Needless to say, Mary has been back several times since her first visit.

I inquired into their personal backgrounds and Steven started to explain that he was born in Toronto into an Italian-Canadian family. He graduated from a program in marketing and started to work for American Standard. He moved into the field of human resources and started to work with disabled people for whom he organized job fairs and work placements.

One day he literally had a light bulb moment, he realized that he needed a change in his life, and at the time he considered that he might open a home accessories store. Steven had always had a real talent for interior design, and since he was a child, his relatives would ask him for decorating advice. He figured he might as well try to make a living at something that he is really good at. He got as far as attending some trade shows and gathering some samples for the intended home accessories store, but in the end, Steven and Paul decided to harness Steven’s decorating talents by putting them to good use in their own bed and breakfast which they were planning to open.

Steven is also a talented stained glass artists, and some pieces of Steven’s art adorn their home. Steven has also sold several pieces of stained glass to some of his bed and breakfast guests while several other visitors have requested his help with their interior design projects.

Paul was born in Guyana and was twelve years old when he came to Toronto. He said his initial adjustment period was a bit difficult since he was used to growing up in a large family who had been living closely together. Once he arrived in Toronto, his entire family was spread out all over the city. In his twenties Paul completed his education in nursing and worked as a “traveling nurse” in various parts of the USA for three years. He was hired by different nursing agencies and worked in various cities throughout Florida and California.

Paul is also a registered physiotherapist and describes himself as an aspiring spiritual counselor, writer and public speaker. He also provides mindfulness awareness meditation workshops.

One experience that shaped Paul Kamarat was a walk along the ancient pilgrimage route of the Camino de Santiago. We briefly talked about my friend Sue Kenney who has become a recognized authority on the Camino. Paul recounts a story of when he was traveling by train from France towards the border of Spain where he would be starting his pilgrimage. He had met a local woman on the train who told him that they were very close to the famous French pilgrimage town of Lourdes. Paul decided to get off the train and spent a night in this historic town, a magical experience.

Once he had started his pilgrimage near the Spanish town of Roncesvalles, he asked God to give him a sign whether he was on the right path. Just at that moment he saw a pair of dancing butterflies, which had always been a positive symbol for Paul. He knew he was on the right track.

Paul adds that as a budding writer he has a strong interest in regular people. He said that he meets so many interesting people and there are so many special individuals out there who are making a positive contribution to the planet.

Steven also pulled out his album and showed me a few pictures of the B&B’s renovation project. Other images featured some of the special events held here and some of his stained glass work. We also went through their guest book which features so many positive comments about the guest experience at Accommodating The Soul B&B. Ever the gracious hosts, Paul and Steven had brought me cookies and a delicious plate of cheese and crackers to keep me energized during the interview. Their natural knack for hospitality is genuine and welcoming.

Just before I had to leave, Paul showed me his pilgrimage passport and the scallop shell that is the symbol of the Camino de Santiago. Steven also had a special item to show me, particularly since Paul was instigating: Steven’s artistic talent manifested itself early in the form of a blue paper-maché pig, an art project that was displayed in his high school along with a variety of other exhibits and science experiments. We all chuckled at this unusual long-lashed yet strangely endearing piece of art.

Two other interviewees were waiting for me, but meeting these two hospitality entrepreneurs was a real treat. I have interviewed many bed and breakfast owners over the years, but I don’t think I have ever met B& B hosts who enjoy the guest experience and the human connection as much as Steven Zarlenga and Paul Karamat. Both gentlemen invited me to come back and I didn’t leave before I got a big hug from both of them. Truly a bed and breakfast with a personal touch…